


Cursed™

by 3x3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, But just barely, Gen, I have no idea if Hauntahouse.net is an actual thing or not, I'm Sorry, M/M, a little bit of fhq in the background there, also someone teach me how to name stories please, but if it is, ehh whatever, the second gen captains are there too, turned out longer than i expected it to, why is this story so random?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9769181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/pseuds/3x3
Summary: He made a face. "Are you supposed to be a ghost or some sort? Aren't you a bit old for trick-or-treating?"The boy scoffed. "This is not a costume.""So you're expecting me to believe that you're an actual spirit haunting my house? Because if you are then you're doing a pretty bad job. Should I report you somewhere for slacking off? Hauntahouse.net?""That's not a thing." the boy said with a deadpan.ORA random stranger showed up on Futakuchi's doorsteps. He is not amused.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to The_Moon_Writer for telling me that this was actually an interesting idea worth writing about. I probably would have dropped this aside forever buried in my unfinished story pile if not for you. <3  
> Also posted on my tumblr blog @thebottomlesspitofbottomlessness you are absolutely welcome to come scream at me on there too.

When Futakuchi opened the door, he hadn’t been thinking much. He hadn’t been waiting on any guest, but he supposed it _was_ a holiday, and kids may have stumbled upon his door by mistake.

He opened the door, expecting to see little boys in Spiderman tight suits and petite girls in frilly princess dresses, waving their candy bags in the air and singing that silly song that was supposed to get them candy. However, he was _not_ expecting a lanky teenager leaning in his doorway, a bed sheet half-draped over his head, drooping down the side of his right shoulder, scowling.

He made a face. “Are you supposed to be a ghost or some sort? Aren’t you a bit old for trick-or-treating?”

“Excuse me?” the boy removed his bed sheet, revealing a clean, pale face, with eyes the color of almonds and neatly kept hair that reminded Futakuchi of creampuffs.

“I mean,” Futakuchi gestured vaguely to the bed sheet. “You know.”

“I’m not trick-or-treating.” the boy gritted his teeth, running his finger through his hair, exasperated.

“You aren’t?” he can’t help but raise an eyebrow to that. “Because it’s Halloween and you’re knocking on the door of a stranger, dressed up as a very badly-”

The boy scoffed. “This is not a costume.”

“So you’re expecting me to believe that you’re an actual spirit haunting my house? Because if you are then you’re doing a pretty bad job. Should I report you somewhere for slacking off? Hauntahouse.net?”

“That’s not a thing.” the boy said with a deadpan.

“And you would know because?”

“Not the point.” he sighed. “Can you just let me in?”

Futakuchi blinked. “Okay sure, it’s not like I don’t know who you are or anything, and it’s not like you could totally be hiding a knife somewhere in your bed sheet waiting for the right moment to stab me for my money.”

“I don’t even know if you _have money._ ”

“Exactly! How do you know if this is not just a worthless investment? Go rob some millionaire for all you want I don’t care.”

“Look, I’m not going to rob you.”

“You sure? Do you swear on your non-existent knife you may or may not be hiding under your sheets?”

The boy rolled his eyes.

Futakuchi did not move.

He huffed. “Alright, I swear on the knife _which I am not hiding under my sheets, nor do I have._ There, happy now?”

“Okay.” Futakuchi opened up the door. “You can come in, even though I’m feeling very much threatened and unsafe right now. I hope you know that I’m just doing this out of the kindness in my heart, Mr. Potential Serial Killer.”

“My name’s Yahaba Shigeru.” said the boy as he walked tentatively into Futakuchi’s apartment, not bothering to pick up his bed sheet dragging on the floor.

Futakuchi shrugged. “Fine. I hope you know that I’m just doing this out of the kindness in my heart, Yahaba- _san._ ”

The boy- Yahaba sighed. “Am I allowed to sit somewhere?”

“Grab a chair. I don’t mind.”

Yahaba pulled out a little wooden stool and sat down awkwardly, his bed sheet dropping down on the floor beside his bare feet.

“Okay then,” Futakuchi shut the door behind him and crossed his arms. “What brings you here, Yahaba- _san_?”

The boy took a deep breath.

“I’m cursed.”

“Hah?”

“And I need you to fix it.”

“HAH?”

* * *

 

“What?”

“Ennoshita!” Futakuchi tried for a light tone, hoping it conveyed friendliness and the message that he came in peace.

Ennoshita was not buying his act. “Spill. If you’re going to disturb my peace you might as well make it quick.”

“Okay, so you watch a lot of horror movies, yeah?”

Ennoshita sighed. Futakuchi took that as a yes.

“So you must know a lot about curses and ghosts, no? Listen, I’ve got a problem. There’s this guy that came knocking on my door just now, claiming that he’s cursed, and apparently I’m the only one who could fix it. He won’t leave until I lift the goddamn thing! What am I supposed to do?”

“Futakuchi.” the voice at the other end of the line does not sound amused. “I think you’re mistaken. I watch a lot of movies in general, all kinds of genres. I’m not _that_ guy who spends all his time digging into horror conspiracies and looking way too deep into the scripts that he’s seeing things that aren’t actually there. I study films, not sorcery.”

“But you must know something.” he pushed, unwilling to just let it drop.

“Goodnight Futakuchi.”

“Wait wait wait don’t hang up! Please Ennoshita I need your help!”

He heard the other boy huff, but didn’t hang up after all. “Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you go bother Akaashi? He watches a lot of horror movies too.”

“He’s scary when he doesn’t get his sleep.” Futakuchi shuddered, recalling the last time he’d called the raven in the middle of the night. He may have come from the owl team but apparently that doesn’t mean he lived like one. The boy had said in a deadly icy voice _if you dare wake me up at this time again for something as dumb as a cat screaming on your balcony I will personally cut you apart limb by limb and make your dislocated head watch as I cook you internal organs over an open fire._

Futakuchi never called Akaashi after eleven ever again.

Ennoshita let out a deep breath he looked like he’s been holding. “Look, it’s too late for this now. Call back again tomorrow, and I’ll get the gang together to help. Okay?”

“But what am I supposed to do now? _He’s sitting in my living room._ ”

“I don’t know.” Ennoshita snapped. “Get him into your bedroom if you mind so much darn it.”

And with that went the telephone click.

Futakuchi turned back very slowly, praying to every single god he knew that it was just a dream. Just a figment of his imagination having too much stress on his shoulders.

Nope. Yahaba stared right back at him from the living room, eyes gold and piercing.

“What?” he asked.

Futakuchi groaned.

* * *

“What did you gather us for this time Ennoshita?”

“Futakuchi.”

A collective of different variations of exasperated sighs and head shakes passed around the table.

“What did he do this time?” Shirabu grouched. “Also, did you _have_ to do this to us?”

“We made a pact.” Akaashi rubbed his forehead. “Look what you did, Terushima- _san_.”

The blonde shrugged.

“Anyways, he should be here soon.” Ennoshita glanced at his watch briefly.

“WHOA hot brunette alert 12 o’ clock.” Terushima announced, standing up on his chair and cupping his hands like binoculars. “And his friend ain’t too shabby either! Oh wait, the friend’s Futakuchi, never mind.”

“Hey sup’ guys.” Futakuchi waved slightly, and eyed Terushima wearily. “Hey Terushima, what’re you doing up on your chair?”

“Looking for hotties.” he replied like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “Like your friend.” He turned to Yahaba. “Hey there pretty one.” he stuck out a hand and smiled seductively (his own words).

Yahaba took a step back. “Uh…”

“Hello, Futakuchi glad you could make it. Why don’t you get your friend a seat?” Ennoshita was quick to step in for damage control.

“He’s not my friend.” Futakuchi explained. “Just a stranger crashing at my place for some reason.”

Yahaba glared at him.

“Okay then.” the raven nodded, and turned to the boy who was apparently not Futakuchi’s friend. “What’s your name?”

“Yahaba Shigeru.”

“Alright.” Ennoshita smiled gently. “I’m Ennoshita Chikara.”

“Terushima Yuuji.” the blonde jumped down from the chair, quickly following.

“Akaashi Keiji.” the other black-haired boy said calmly.

“Shirabu Kenjirou.” the last teen took a sip out of his drink. “Okay so what are we doing here? Are we just gathered here to meet his boyfriend because if that’s the case, congratulations. I’m leaving.”

“Noooooo Shirabu don’t leave! You haven’t paid for your drink yet!”

He rolled his eyes and took out his wallet.

“I’m joking I’m joking! Sit down! You know I only have eyes for you.” Futakuchi batted his eyelashes.

Shirabu made a face, but sat down grudgingly.

“So, Futakuchi. Your problem?” Ennoshita cut in again before the topic got way off track.

“Ahh, yes.” Futakuchi said thoughtfully. “Him.” he pushed Yahaba forward.

“Futakuchi.” Terushima clicked his tongue towards him. “You lucky bastard.” he lifted his eyebrow at Yahaba. “You’re his problem? ‘Cause I wish you were _my_ problem.”

“Teru, stop.”

Terushima grumbled under his breath but sat back into his chair. Akaashi patted the back of his hand in comfort.

“Go on, Yahaba- _kun_.” Ennoshita encouraged. “Tell us your problem.”

Yahaba looked relieved. He took a deep breath. “I’m cursed.” He stated out loud.

Akaashi choked on his drink, and ended up coughing like crazy. “Sorry.” he shrugged.

_Yahaba was quietly doing his homework in his room._

_He sighed. The teacher had been in a strangely hyped mood all day, which ultimately landed them more homework than usual._

_His eyelids started to droop._

_“Oi. Creampuff-hair-chan_. _Wake up!”_

_“Huh? What?”_

_“You fell asleep.” A voice told him._

_“I didn’t.” Yahaba frowned, rubbing his eyes and squinting. When fluffy brown curls enter his vision his eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “Oikawa-san??”_

_“NOPE!” The Oikawa-look-alike yelped. “I know nothing of this Oikawa-character you speak of, though he must possess incredible beauty for me to be mistaken as him.”_

_Yahaba eyed the man (who was CLEARLY Oikawa) wearily. “Okay then. Who are you and what do you want from me?”_

_“I am the Grand Demon King!” the man boomed, holding out his palms upturned to the sky, as if waiting for a dramatic bolt of lightning to flash in the background._

_Nothing happened._

_The man cleared his throat._

_Still nothing happened._

_He dropped his hands awkwardly. “Anyway. I’m here to inform you that you have been cursed.”_

_“I have been_ what _?”_

_“Cursed.” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world._

_“By whom?”_

_“Me, of course.” the Grand Demon King-Oikawa rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Obviously.”_

_“Why??”_

_“Your hair is too fabulous.” he whined. “If you keep it up you’ll surpass_ me _.”_

_“Thank for the compliment.” Yahaba narrowed his eyes and backed up slightly, his swirling chair hitting the front of his desk. “But that is a horrible reason. No offence.”_

_“Excuse_ you _, that is the reason to everything.” Demon-Oikawa huffed, flipping his hair like he was in a shampoo commercial. “If you have better hair than me, with that cute face of yours, do you have any idea how many more swooning girls we’ll get on a daily basis? This is for the greater good!”_

_“Okay are you sure you aren’t Oikawa-san because I swear-”_

_“I’m not. Pull my horns. They’re real. Humans don’t have horns.”_

_Yahaba pulled on his horns. They were real._

_“Okay then” he ran a hand through his hair. “Wha-”_

_“That thing_ right there. _” Demon-Oikawa interrupted. “Exactly what I’m talking about. Do_ not _run your fingers through your hair.”_

_Yahaba quickly untangled his hand, allowing his strands to puff up a bit before falling back down and settling to frame his face in a perfect motion._

_“That-” Demon-Oikawa sighed. “Never mind. The point is you’re cursed.”_

_“With what?”_

_“Eternal ugliness. Your curse starts next week. Goodbye and good luck.”_

_“Wait what?” Yahaba was quick to catch Demon-Oikawa by the cape before he poofed off to god knows where. “What do you mean eternal ugliness?”_

_“Exactly what it sounds like creampuff-chan now please let go of my cape I have places to be.”_

_“Not until you tell me how to break the curse.” Yahaba held on stubbornly._

_“What makes you think there_ is _any way to break the curse?”_

_“There’s always a way to break the curse.” Yahaba gazed at the demon steadily, hoping to stare him down._

_Demon-Oikawa let out an exasperated sigh of annoyance, twisting his head around to avoid eye contact. “Fine. There’s a guy named Futakuchi Kenji. Your age. Brunette. He’ll break your curse.”_

_“How?”_

_“You’ll see.”_

_“You mean he knows?”_

_“Of course not!” Demon-Oikawa laughed at loud._

_“Then how would I see?”_

_“Patience, creampuff-chan.”_

_“Fine. Then why him?”_

_His face crashed in less than a millisecond. “Obviously because he’s a pain in the ass in my universe.” Demon Oikawa growled, clenching his fists. “Little shit. I swear he’s the cockiest of his group, has no respect for the King whatsoever. I’ll finally get my revenge on him! Be sure to bug the hell out of him creampuff-chan.”_

_“What? Where do I find him? What do I do in the mean time?”_

_“Ahh, worry not. I’ll get you there.” Demon-Oikawa winked. “As for the mean time……” he appeared to be in deep thought. Then suddenly his face lit up, and before Yahaba could react, a huge white bed sheet fell on his head, draping him over from head to toe. Out of shock, he loosened his fist._

_“Use this to cover up your face if the curse happens! Oh, and thank you for letting go of my cape. I was seriously thinking of just leaving it here but I probably can’t find another one that matches with my suit so well.”_

_“Wait!” Yahaba scrambled to get the bed sheet off his head, but it was too long to grab a good hold on._

_“Bye, Creampuff-chan! Good luck! Remember to tone your hair down!” Demon-Oikawa’s cheerful voice chirped._

_When Yahaba finally got the bed sheet out of his eyes, Demon-Oikawa was already gone. And he was no longer in his room, but an unfamiliar hallway._

_Yahaba bit back a curse._

_He guessed this door supposedly led to this Futakuchi Kenji fellow’s apartment._

_He took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell._

Terushima burst into crazy laughter.

Yahaba shot him a glare.

His laugh faltered. “Oh wait, you’re _serious_.”

“Why else would I be knocking on the door of some random stranger?”

“I dunno.” Futakuchi muttered to himself. “Maybe you have a mental illness. I mean, can you really say that you’re _not_ mental? Can you even convince _yourself?_ ”

No one paid him any attention.

Ennoshita sighed. “I’m sorry Yahaba- _kun_ but are you sure it wasn’t just a dream? I mean, maybe lately you’ve been feeling lots of pressure-”

“Are you saying I’m a liar?”

“What Ennoshita- _san_ means to say is that your situation is rather odd. Don’t you find it strange yourself?” Akaashi stepped in smoothly, always the peacemaker. “What makes you think it wasn’t just a prank from your friends?”

“I saw the man appear, then disappear into thin air in front of me alright? I’m not _blind_. And also there’s the bed sheet.”

“The bed sheet that the Demon King gave you?” Akaashi asked as Ennoshita proceeded to palm his own face.

“Yes. You were listening to my story.” Yahaba sounded pleased.

“He _did_ show up at my door with a bed sheet draped over his head.” Futakuchi added helpfully. “It was a stupid look on him, not saying his face didn’t help the whole dumb image.”

Yahaba shoved him roughly. “Not like it’s my choice. I still need you to break my curse.”

“Yes, yes. Except that I have no idea how, okay? This is the 21st century! What you _do_ need is to get to the nearest hospital for a mental checkup.”

“I’m not crazy! Or hallucinating! I’m telling you it’s the truth!”

“Sure.”

“Can you guys _please_ help?” Yahaba is almost begging, “Anything?”

A glance passes through the group, looking uncertain. But no one said a thing. Yahaba dropped his head in disappointment.

Terushima stood up abruptly.“I’ve got it!”

“Got… What?”

“The way to break the curse you numb skulls.” he rolled his eyes.

“And that is?” Yahaba looked like he was nearly in tears.

“True love’s kiss.”

* * *

“Absolutely not.” Futakuchi didn’t even miss a beat.

“But it’s the most possible way! And also the most efficient.”

“No it isn’t. You just made it up! True love’s kiss? That’s a kid’s tale.”

“One that could actually work!” Ennoshita marveled in wonder quietly, more to himself than at others. He raised his head, eyes sparkling with an odd enthusiasm. “Terushima, you’re a _genius_.”

Terushima’s facial expression was a mix of confusion and pleased. “I am?”

“Of course!” Ennoshita snapped his fingers. “It’s so obvious! How can I not see this? Isn’t it obvious Akaashi?”

The raven head nodded cooperatively.

“What? Why?”

“Haven’t you had a childhood?” Ennoshita explained impatiently. “Or at least heard some fairytales? It’s always how it ends!”

“But…? Real life doesn’t work that way.” Futakuchi protested. “Also we’re practically strangers. He can’t be my true love!”

Ennoshita rolled his eyes. “Of course not!” he scoffed. “You’ve only just met.”

“My point exactly!”

“But so were the princes and princesses in the stories! Snow White’s prince never even met her before he brought her back to life with a kiss! It’s the phrase ‘true love’s kiss’ that throws people off. They should’ve added in another word.”

“ _Potential_ true love’s kiss.” Akaashi said, following up. “That person doesn’t necessarily have to be your soulmate or anything. They just need to have the potential to be your lover.”

“But how can we tell if he really is my 'potential true love’ or not?” Yahaba voiced his question out loud.

Akaashi shrugged. “Try it. If he is then something should happen. Besides, didn’t the Demon King specifically say his name?”

“But what if this isn’t the way to break the curse? If it doesn’t work?” Yahaba pushed, unwilling to give in just yet.

“Well, it’s most likely for now. If it doesn’t work, we’ll think of something else.”

Yahaba looked like he was struggling internally.

“Wait up. Hold on. Time out.” Futakuchi made a stop sign with his hands. “Excuse me? But has everyone forgot that I am also one of the subjects of this topic? Don’t I get a say on this?”

“No, you don’t.” Yahaba said flatly, looking like he had finally made up his mind. His eyes shone with determination.“So let’s get this over with.” he said as he moved forward, settling his hands on Futakuchi’s shoulders.

“What? Why?” Futakuchi struggled, trying to escape from Yahaba’s _strangely really tight grip._

“Stop squirming.” Yahaba sighed. “It’s making me hard to keep you in place.”

“Well maybe I don’t _want_ to be in place.”

“Come on! What have you got to lose?”

“My virgin lips.”

“You’re not going to lose your lips.” Yahaba tried to stifle a groan.

“No, I said _virgin_ lips. There’s a difference.”

Yahaba rolled his eyes. “Please. It’s for the greater good!”

“Not according to me!”

“Pucker up!”

“What? NO! Akaashi! Are you going to just _stand there_ and let them do this to me?” he sent a silent plead with his gaze, grasping desperately to whatever hope he has left.

“I’m sorry, Futakuchi- _san”_ his voice is truly apologetic, “But this is Yahaba- _san_ ’s best shot. And it can’t hurt to _try to help_.”

“You betray me, ALL OF YOU!”

“Oh stop being a bunch of teenage school girls and man up. You’re gonna make me puke” Shirabu snapped, shoving Futakuchi from behind the back, causing him to stumble forward, falling into Yahaba.

It was as if everything was in slow motion. He could see the other boy’s face getting closer, pupils dilating, eyes widened in shock. It’s a golden dazzling color, captivating. It’s the last thing he could think before his lips fell loosely against the other boy’s. He felt his eyes shutting close.

Yahaba’s mouth was soft, slightly moist and tasted faintly of chocolate, rich and thick. It made Futakuchi wonder if the boy crashing on his couch had found the secret stash of sweets he kept in the cupboard of the kitchen. He wondered if a girl’s lips would feel the same. Gentle. His mouth slacked and fell open, drinking in the luxurious scent.

Then the moment ended, and Futakuchi crashed to the floor.

“Oi!”

“Sorry. You’re heavy. Can’t blame me for that.”

“Well maybe you should gain some more muscle.” Futakuchi glared up angrily. “I think you broke my ankle.”

“What? Are you going to cry about it?” Yahaba scoffed, intentionally not looking at his direction.

“No.” the brunette made a face. “I’ll survive through it. Just give me a moment.”

He stretched out his legs, and with the push of his hands, he stood up wobbly. Keeping his back directed towards Yahaba, he gently raised his fingers to his mouth.

The touch still felt very raw and impressionable in his mind, and if he concentrated, he could almost feel Yahaba’s ghost of a breath lingering on his lips.

Futakuchi quickly banished the thought from his mind, spinning around to face the other boy. “Well, did it work?”

Yahaba shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know? Did I just give my first kiss away for _nothing?_ ”

“ _Please,_ the Demon King _did_ say you were the one who could break my curse. Besides,” Yahaba scowled defensively. “I wouldn’t call it _nothing_. You’ve got me as your first kiss, now that’s something not everyone can have the fortune to get.”

Futakuchi made a face. “Sorry if I say this but that doesn’t exactly make me feel any better.”

“It’s not in my job description to grant you any consolation.” the other boy shot back pointedly.

“So did it work or not?” Futakuchi whined. “I feel like I’ve been played. Shame on you Yahaba.”

“For the record,” Yahaba huffed, the tips of his ears turning painfully obviously red with blush. “that was also my first kiss so don’t act like you’re the only wronged party here.”

“Oh.” Futakuchi’s tone was suddenly a bit more cheerful. “Was it?”

The other teen nodded his confirmation, eyes darting away frantically, looking everywhere but in Futakuchi’s direction, hands fidgeting out of discomfort. “And I always thought my first kiss would be with a girl.”

“Me too.” Futakuchi admitted. “I mean, it’s kind of what you would expect growing up as a boy.”

“Guess we were both wrong.”

“Guess so.”

“What do you think about it, then? Kissing a boy?”

Futakuchi stared. “Seriously? You’re going to go _there?_ Now?”

Yahaba flushed dark red. “I’m just curious, okay?” he protested, trying to explain himself.

“Why don’t you share first, then?” Futakuchi smirked.

Somewhere in the background, Shirabu cleared his throat. “You guys _do_ realize that we’re still here? Don’t you want to get…whatever solved first before you start flirting?”

“We’re not-“The second half of Yahaba’s sentence got lost somewhere in Shirabu’s steely gaze. He cursed under his breath, grumbling.

"So…” Futakuchi wiped his palms on the side of his pants. “What now?”

Yahaba looked a bit startled, like the idea of he had no idea how to contact the person who cursed him has just first occurred to him. He shrugged, like he was about to abandon any sort of normalcy in his life. He took a deep breath. “Oi! Demon King- _san_! Did we break the curse or not?” He raised his head and hollered at the sky.

A single slip of paper floated down gently. It wavered in the air, spiraling down slowly. The piece of paper landed right on his face. He brushed it off, frustrated. There was just one word on it. _No._

Yahaba felt himself snap. “What?? Why not? What _do you want?_ You said he could break my curse!!”

“Well while I did say that, I never specified _what_ is it you have to do.” A voice sounded out suddenly from behind them. The boys jumped. There stood the Demon King, cape flowing smoothly to the motion of the wind.

Futakuchi was the first to snap out of the silence. He swallowed. “Aren’t you supposed to…you know.” He made a vague gesture at his horns. “Hide those?”

“No need. People paid me no attention for some reason. I find it strange. Your kind does not have horns, do you?”

“Ahh, no.” Futakuchi narrowed his eyes. “But we _do have cosplayers so…_ ”

“What players?”

“Never mind that!” Yahaba cut it, sending Futakuchi a salty look. “Why isn’t the curse broken? Wasn’t that the cure? True Love’s kiss?”

“True love?” Demon Oikawa snorted, “Why, cream-puff- _chan_ you’ve only met him yesterday!”

Futakuchi threw his arms up in the air. “THANK YOU! _Finally_ someone questions this.” He threw Ennoshita a nasty look. The latter shrugged. “Well, was it the cure?”

Demon Oikawa glared at him. “Yes, well that was the _plan_.” he admitted grudgingly. “But you weren’t supposed to figure it out so soon! And I _really_ looked forward to seeing cream-puff- _chan_ ’s ugly face!”

“Well too bad you can’t!” Yahaba lashed out, hair bristling. “Lift my curse!! You are a horrible curse-caster you know that? Aren’t spells supposed to be lifted the moment the countering action takes place?”

The Demon huffed. “I didn’t know if I would change my mind.” he explained. “And see? I did!”

“And now you have to change your mind back to the original plan.” Yahaba told him stiffly. “It didn’t lift automatically, so now you have to do it manually.”

“Ehhh?” he argued. “But I don’t _want_ to!” the demon whined. “Now you’ve really got _everything_. You get to keep your pretty face, _and_ you got a potential love interest! However bad his personality may be!”

“You’re the one to talk!” Futakuchi protested under his breath. Demon Oikawa brushed him off.

“My point is. You’ve got _him_ now.” He jabbed a finger at Futakuchi. “Isn’t love worth for you to sacrifice a bit of your looks?”

“Hell no."Yahaba didn’t even blink. For whatever reason, Futakuchi looked offended. Yahaba decided to ignore him.

"We only need good looks to attract ourselves someone nice to settle down with anyway.” Demon Oikawa didn’t seem to give much thought about the topic. “So if you think about it, you should be _thanking me_ for getting you someone who can learn to look past your appearances!”

Futakuchi raised his hand like a student in class. He batted his eyelashes dramatically. “Um, hello. Hi. Sorry to interrupt your honestly completely pointless banter. I’m Futakuchi Kenji and I still can’t believe that even now, _no one is putting my thoughts in the question._ ”

The pair looked at him. For a blissful moment, Futakuchi thought he saw the slightest trace of hesitation in their eyes. Then they went back to arguing.

“I don’t care! Retract the curse!”

“La la la I can’t hear you~”

Futakuchi could felt himself ticking, the gears screeching to an abrupt halt in his brain, disrupting the whole system and forcing everything to shut down. His shoulders started shaking.

“You’re just being petty now!”

He took a deep breath.

“Still can’t hear you!”

“SHUT IT! BOTH OF YOU!!”

They both fell quiet. Futakuchi felt a sudden rush of accomplishment. (He wondered when he’d fallen to the step that the simple action of people _listening to him_ made his eyes water.)

“Okay listen up here.” Futakuchi thrust a finger in Yahaba’s face. “I _did not_ ask to be a part of this shit. Whatever you have between you is _between you_. Clear?”

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a brat.” Demon Oikawa muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“And _you!_ ”

“Yes?”

“You dragged me into this mess! Why? Did I offend you somehow in a past life or something?”

“Yes.” The Demon replied almost instinctively.

“Well NEWS FLASH! I don’t even _know_ you. So I have no business to do with any of you! But _you_ specifically asked for me. And just now I was forced to give up my first kiss! For what? Some kind of payback? You are so _childish_!”

Demon King’s face shadowed over. “You know. If I wish to, I can disintegrate you right here, right now. You might want to watch your language.”

“What if I don’t anyway?” Futakuchi challenged, tilting his head up.

The Demon King seemed to be contemplating something, his eyes narrowed.

“Fine, fine! The curse is gone! Whatever!” Demon Oikawa threw his arms up in the air. “I still have things to do. Other people to curse. There are soldiers at the doors of my castle. I don’t have _time_ to meddle with you puny humans. And _you_ certainly aren’t worth enough for me to waste my incredible powers on.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“Wait.” Yahaba cut Futakuchi off. He pressed on, unyielding. “Don’t you have to do anything? A key action?”

Demon Oikawa closed his eyes tiredly and snapped his fingers. “There. Happy?”

“That’s it? Is that it?”

“Yes! What else do you want?”

“I don’t know. I was kind of expecting more of a show.” Yahaba explained.

Futakuchi nodded in agreement beside him.

“Well. You don’t get a show. You can take choose to take it or leave it.”

“We’ll take it, thank you.” Futakuchi inserted before Yahaba could say anything, beaming an angelic smile.

Demon Oikawa made a face. “You scare me. Get out of here.”

“Gladly.” he took Yahaba by the elbow swiftly and led him away.

* * *

“So…Is it finally over?” Futakuchi asked after they’ve put some distance between them and the location the demon had been at when he took away Yahaba’s curse.

“I think so?” the boy said, his uncertain voice made it more of a inquire than a statement.

“How are you feeling? Un-cursed?”

Yahaba squirmed, wiggling his hands and shaking his legs around. Futakuchi decided not to question his checking methods.

“I don’t know. I’m not feeling much difference.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad that we’re done with this whole thing.”

Yahaba frowned. “Hey, no need to sound so insulted. I mean it’s really not that much of a big deal.”

“It’s both of ours first kiss. You call that _not a big deal_?”

“Okay fine.” he rolled his eyes. “It’s a big deal, alright? But I’m just saying, your first kiss might’ve gone _way worse_.”

“I highly doubt it.” Futakuchi snorted. “I mean you _did_ drop me on the floor. ”

A faint red dusted over Yahaba’s face. “You’ll live. Besides, that doesn’t count as part of the kiss you dolt.”

“You were a pretty sloppy kisser anyway.” Futakuchi mocked.

Yahaba tilted his chin up. “ _Excuse me?_ But you weren’t so great yourself either.”

“I was caught off-guard!” Futakuchi complained. “ _And_ that was my first kiss!.”

“Well the same can be said for me!”

“Are you saying you could do _better_ if you were _prepared?_ ” Futakuchi raised an eyebrow.

Yahaba huffed. “Well could _you?_ ”

“Are you looking for an excuse to kiss me again?” Futakuchi laughed. “As much as I’m flattered I have to say we are getting too ahead of ourselves. Do I look like _that_ kind of guy? I’m not letting you kiss me again at least until the fifth date.”

“Are you asking me out?”

“You took my first kiss. Take some responsibility along with that.” Futakuchi told him.

* * *

Bonus:

“Hey, Yahaba?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did he even curse you in the first place?”

“I have no actual idea.” the boy put on a troubled expression. “Something about my hair being too fabulous.”

Futakuchi made a repulsive face. “You should stop using so much hair product. How many brands do you even use? Six?”

“Do you think I intend on poisoning my roots?” Yahaba squinted at him. “No. I use perfectly normal shampoo. And maybe one or two products, okay?”

“And by that, you mean three or four.” Futakuchi suggested.

“I neither confirm, nor deny anything.” Yahaba hastened his steps.

Futakuchi picked up his pace, trying to match the other teen’s speed. “Hey, slow down a bit! But really, what does he even see in you? ”

“I make girls swoon. And that is a problem for him apparently.”

The brunette laughed. “Well he _certainly_ has some taste issues in that case. I mean. Girls swooning for you? Those girls _clearly_ haven’t met _me_ yet.”

“Why? What would they swoon for?” Yahaba mocked. “I _do_ wonder where you found that overly excessive ego of yours? In the dumpster? Seems like a place you would hang around. Also, doesn’t that mean _you_ have bad taste? You _are_ asking me out, after all.”

Futakuchi grimaced. “Arguably the dumbest decision I’ve made in my entire life. Don’t let it get to your head. You should feel honored to be asked out by _me_.”

“Believe me, I’m really not. Do you mean that you are here for my charming personality instead?”

Futakuchi rolled his eyes at that. “You _wish_ your personality is as great as mine.”

Yahaba fell to a stop, letting out a large sigh. He patted Futakuchi on the shoulders. “Consider this as… a pity date.”

The other boy stuck out a tongue at him. “You don’t know when to stop, do you?”

Yahaba shrugged. “Well then, guess we’re a perfect match, since you don’t know when to stop either.”

* * *

“So they really _did_ forget that we are still here.” Terushima said to no one in particular.

Shirabu glanced at him sideways. “To be honest, are you really that surprised?”

The blonde cocked his head, thinking. “No.” he decided.

“There you have it.”

* * *

The warrior narrowed his eyes into tiny suspicious slits. “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing! Just helped two youths discover the wonders of love.” the Demon King batted his eyelashes innocently.

“Because I swear if it’s just you being a whiny baby looking for revenge-”

“So mean! What do you take me for?”

“-I will personally drag your ass back to hell.”

“I am actually doing this out of the goodness in my heart.” The Demon glared. “For _once_. You’d think after so many couples out there Suga- _chan_ would finally have given up trying to pair up everyone. But _noooo_. He just _had_ to whine about it. _But they have so much in common! It’s rare to find such a well match in the couples nowadays._ Seriously, I don’t care if they _almost bumped into each other on that little corner around the street last week_ or not. It’s driving me crazy! He isn’t usually this persistent. I don’t know. Maybe there really is something special about them. But like I said, I don’t care.”

“So you’re helping them, going to all the trouble of making a show of a fake curse, _in person,_ I may add, because Sugawara finds them cute together. Even if you want to strangle Futakuchi about one-thirds of your waking moments.”

Demon King flushed red and squawked in dissent. “You can only know things aren’t messed up when you’re doing it yourself. And I’m _not_ _helping them._ I’m helping myself. Suga- _chan_ was getting annoying! It had to stop.”

“Who would’ve known. The Great Demon King, feared by those all near and far, is a huge sweetheart playing matchmakers for those too blind to help themselves.”

He glared at the warrior, the man he’d known for almost his entire life. “Do _not_ spread it out. It would ruin my entire reputation!” He said forcefully. “ _Especially_ don’t let Futakuchi know. He’ll never let me live it down!”

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say.”

“I mean it.”

“Fine. I knew that you’re a softie underneath all that overflowing sass.”

“My, my is that an actual compliment?”

“Don’t push it.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally meant to be a joke, so I apologize for the awkwardness and weirdness in the plot. Kind of just little scenes I wrote on Halloween last year because I was salty from not being able to go tick-or-treating. But then I actually got to writing this out, and it turned out longer than I ever expected it to be, being something silly and not really meant to be taken seriously. I had a LOT of fun writing this one because its entire feeling is just so bizarre I got to write anything I wanted without worrying about logic and whatnot.  
> Thank you all for reading my story! I hope you got a good laugh out of it! Kudos and comments are very much welcome and appreciated! It really means a lot to me.


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